Total Miles for the Week: 23.5
12/28 My leg hurts from yesterdays hill running fandango. Went to Ikea instead of working out. I could live in 400 square feet. Had Swedish breakfast and American coffee.
12/29 Ran 5.5 plus half a mile through a field of snake high grass, bounding through instead of running, afraid of gophers and rattle snakes. It started raining so the last two miles were Neil miles all the way, soaking wet, carrying a 1/2 pound of red clay on my shoes. Also it was dark on the side of a fast road. I kept saying to myself, Keep the cones to your left. If they aren't on your left then you're in the road.
12/31 Ran 4 junk miles, slow and stupid. My calf never numbed out. did loops in one of those full blown Stepford spec neighborhoods, three million blocks of perfectly manicured, brand new and completely uninhabited homes. I made it back alive even though my shoes had bricked up on that fucking red brown shit they call mud in Texas. I iced immediately when I got home, had a snack and took a nap. I'm set to run Town Lake on Saturday, two 5 mile loops. We'll see.
01/02 Re-write: Ran 7+ miles around the Town Lake loop, which is Austin’s Central Park, but thought I’d done 11. It turns out that I-35 isn't the turnaround. Its actaully Pleasant Valley. I also ran 4 miles of hiking trails behind Zilker Park which I didn't know was Zilker Park. I hit it from the side by starting the Town Lake loop going left instead of the traditional right. I missed all the entrances that said Zilker Park which was cool because a) I found a homeless camp or a pretty fucked up party spot which was way Chainsaw Massacre so I didn't hang out to drink the sterno and find out which was which and b) because before I found out it was a "park" I thought I discovered an old dry ravine bed which was all wild west and perilous and shit, even if it was in the middle of a city.
The loop was cool and, regardless of what you might have read online about the Town Lake loop, there are a lot of hills. It was crowded but I really felt connected to the city in a way I hadn't before, like if I had stayed in Austin, this would be what I'd do every Saturday.
(It was cold but not frigid so I managed to run in a long sleeve compression shirt and t-shirt but no hat. My leg was rough but working and it numbed out around mile three.)
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Motivational Quote #9
A runner must run with dreams in his heart, not money in his pocket. - Emil Zatopek
When I read that I cried, nothing speaks to the why of doing anything in life like that quote. Alberto Salazar said something similar about going all out or not bothering but that was full of macho bullshit. I mean, I get it. Run with all your heart or don't bother lacing up. Somehow though, this quote speaks to me. Zatopek was offered, by his government, a chance to be a running ambassador for his country but instead he chose to be a janitor because he refused to serve tyranny. This man is the why of running for me. He lived a courageous life. I read one story about how he would be running a race and have a party the night before and so many people would need a place to stay he'd give up his room and go outside to sleep under a tree. He was happy and giving. I aspire to that. Some days I feel like a giant prick. I didn't train at Train.Fight.Win on Sunday because it was my rest day and I wouldn't change that even though it was like the one day we'd get to train with LA and Mike who moved to Denver. I don't run with Christina and Saiju for the same reason. I need balance in my life. I need to give back but not just because there's some kind of karmic debt. That's bullshit. I need to want to give back. How do you build that muscle?
When I read that I cried, nothing speaks to the why of doing anything in life like that quote. Alberto Salazar said something similar about going all out or not bothering but that was full of macho bullshit. I mean, I get it. Run with all your heart or don't bother lacing up. Somehow though, this quote speaks to me. Zatopek was offered, by his government, a chance to be a running ambassador for his country but instead he chose to be a janitor because he refused to serve tyranny. This man is the why of running for me. He lived a courageous life. I read one story about how he would be running a race and have a party the night before and so many people would need a place to stay he'd give up his room and go outside to sleep under a tree. He was happy and giving. I aspire to that. Some days I feel like a giant prick. I didn't train at Train.Fight.Win on Sunday because it was my rest day and I wouldn't change that even though it was like the one day we'd get to train with LA and Mike who moved to Denver. I don't run with Christina and Saiju for the same reason. I need balance in my life. I need to give back but not just because there's some kind of karmic debt. That's bullshit. I need to want to give back. How do you build that muscle?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Motivational Quote #8
In life I’m a loser, I was born poor, as I am still poor now. I run to revenge myself. - Marco Olmo
He won the Mont Blanc ultra twice in 2006 and 2007 aged 58 then 59, ahead of much younger runners.
He won the Mont Blanc ultra twice in 2006 and 2007 aged 58 then 59, ahead of much younger runners.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Running Log: Decemebr 21 - 27
Titak Miles for the Week: 13
12/21 Swam 5 x 100m, 60m and 5 x 100m at lunch. It was hard to warm up but my my first 500 I was ready to go breathing easy. Tried the hip flick on my kick and that was not happening. I need skill sessions for sure. Gonna take Steph up on that one thing she can teach me to improve my speed.
12/22 Did Camp Payne at Wade Wehut Pool. An hour long trip through core isometrics and explosive arm and leg work. It was me and Tristan, the coach, and 3 or 4 curvy 19 to 20 year old girls who I am pretty sure are crushing on Tristan. It turns even 19 to 20 old curvy girls can kick my ass. It was tough and I could definitely see doing it again.
12/23 Ran 5+ with Steph and Jimmy at Forest Meadow on the figure eight loop. I went real slow. It really worked out that I was so wiped from the other day. It made me hold back. Sometimes exhaustion can work for you. I'm pretty sore from the waste down and achy, there's a little bit of calf pain but not much and its sporadic.
12/27 Ran 8 miles in Round Rock where the downhills feel just like uphills and hills are measured in miles. I ran a 1.5 mile hill that nearly broke my back. Coming down on the other side I heard the Devil. Swear to God. The harder I ran, the closer he got until caught me and brought me down like when my Mama died and my legs gave out. It was like they had never held me up a day in their lives. They just buckled under me. And there I lay on the side of wet cold Texas road crying like a baby out the womb for God to bring me to Heaven. Being a runner is a full time preoccupation and hating God takes up more time than that. I got to give one up.
12/21 Swam 5 x 100m, 60m and 5 x 100m at lunch. It was hard to warm up but my my first 500 I was ready to go breathing easy. Tried the hip flick on my kick and that was not happening. I need skill sessions for sure. Gonna take Steph up on that one thing she can teach me to improve my speed.
12/22 Did Camp Payne at Wade Wehut Pool. An hour long trip through core isometrics and explosive arm and leg work. It was me and Tristan, the coach, and 3 or 4 curvy 19 to 20 year old girls who I am pretty sure are crushing on Tristan. It turns even 19 to 20 old curvy girls can kick my ass. It was tough and I could definitely see doing it again.
12/23 Ran 5+ with Steph and Jimmy at Forest Meadow on the figure eight loop. I went real slow. It really worked out that I was so wiped from the other day. It made me hold back. Sometimes exhaustion can work for you. I'm pretty sore from the waste down and achy, there's a little bit of calf pain but not much and its sporadic.
12/27 Ran 8 miles in Round Rock where the downhills feel just like uphills and hills are measured in miles. I ran a 1.5 mile hill that nearly broke my back. Coming down on the other side I heard the Devil. Swear to God. The harder I ran, the closer he got until caught me and brought me down like when my Mama died and my legs gave out. It was like they had never held me up a day in their lives. They just buckled under me. And there I lay on the side of wet cold Texas road crying like a baby out the womb for God to bring me to Heaven. Being a runner is a full time preoccupation and hating God takes up more time than that. I got to give one up.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Back Story: Red Hills Triatholon
I signed up for the Red Hills Tri too soon but the truth was I needed a real world goal. I needed a reason to be training. The RHT gave me a genuine sense of purpose and urgency. I even planned a victory trip to Paris to celebrate.
I ran a lot and swam. I swam a lot. I think swimming made me a better runner. I didn't bike so much. I don't mind biking but road biking, as a training paradigm, bores the ever lovin' shit out a me. I like trail biking. I like to see how much guts I have. I did that a lot. What I didn't do, at all, is an open water swim.
They say your first open water swim should never be the day of the event. The worst part is that I had three opportunities to do open water swims in the lake the tri swim would be happening in and I opted out. It was a training failure. It was my training failure.
The few days before the race, little things went wrong. First I lost my jammers and then I misplaced my compression shorts. I had to patch my bike tire. The morning of the race, which my wife refused to attend, was cold and like night as if the sun would never rise. I set up my gear and waited in the dark, slowly losing my grip on nerve, slowly losing the why of doing all of this.
They herded us down to the beach and we had wait as wave after wave bum rushed the lake water. My group, the geezers, was all that was left standing in our wet suits and yellow caps. I looked over and saw a guy with a snorkel and full face mask. They signaled us to go and even though I purposely trailed the herd, people ended up swimming over me and I got kicked in the face.
The dark green milky water was ice cold even with a wet suit. I had no visibility and 100 meters into the swim my body started vibrating and my chest felt like it was caving in. The kayak guy knew before I did because I looked up for a split second and saw him coming toward me.
He asked me if I wanted a tow in and I said no. I tried swimming three times and each time the terrible convulsions started. He towed me in and then once on the beach a race official immediately pulled my timing chip. I changed clothes and called my wife. And then I waited for my friends to finish.
I'm proud of the fact that I stayed. It hurt but my friends had worked hard for this. They had worked with me. They deserved congratulations. They deserved my support as much as I appreciated theirs.
I've been back in the pool this week and am remembering how much I like it. Steph offered to help me with my open water swim and I'm certain now that I have to take her up on the offer.
This time, I conquer the swim first and then I sign up for the tri. Maybe not Red Hills. Maybe Destin or Jax. Something to get the nerves to go fuck off. When I take the Red Hills to bed, it'll be to let her know who's house she sleeping in. I want this dirty bitch off my back.
I ran a lot and swam. I swam a lot. I think swimming made me a better runner. I didn't bike so much. I don't mind biking but road biking, as a training paradigm, bores the ever lovin' shit out a me. I like trail biking. I like to see how much guts I have. I did that a lot. What I didn't do, at all, is an open water swim.
They say your first open water swim should never be the day of the event. The worst part is that I had three opportunities to do open water swims in the lake the tri swim would be happening in and I opted out. It was a training failure. It was my training failure.
The few days before the race, little things went wrong. First I lost my jammers and then I misplaced my compression shorts. I had to patch my bike tire. The morning of the race, which my wife refused to attend, was cold and like night as if the sun would never rise. I set up my gear and waited in the dark, slowly losing my grip on nerve, slowly losing the why of doing all of this.
They herded us down to the beach and we had wait as wave after wave bum rushed the lake water. My group, the geezers, was all that was left standing in our wet suits and yellow caps. I looked over and saw a guy with a snorkel and full face mask. They signaled us to go and even though I purposely trailed the herd, people ended up swimming over me and I got kicked in the face.
The dark green milky water was ice cold even with a wet suit. I had no visibility and 100 meters into the swim my body started vibrating and my chest felt like it was caving in. The kayak guy knew before I did because I looked up for a split second and saw him coming toward me.
He asked me if I wanted a tow in and I said no. I tried swimming three times and each time the terrible convulsions started. He towed me in and then once on the beach a race official immediately pulled my timing chip. I changed clothes and called my wife. And then I waited for my friends to finish.
I'm proud of the fact that I stayed. It hurt but my friends had worked hard for this. They had worked with me. They deserved congratulations. They deserved my support as much as I appreciated theirs.
I've been back in the pool this week and am remembering how much I like it. Steph offered to help me with my open water swim and I'm certain now that I have to take her up on the offer.
This time, I conquer the swim first and then I sign up for the tri. Maybe not Red Hills. Maybe Destin or Jax. Something to get the nerves to go fuck off. When I take the Red Hills to bed, it'll be to let her know who's house she sleeping in. I want this dirty bitch off my back.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Running Log: December 14 - 20
Total Miles for the Week: 7
12/14 Ran one mile with Steph and then we walked a bit. We're both a bit gimpy. It was funny. I asked her, How's your ankle and she said, We should run a mile to test it out and 1/4 mile into it, she's like, You're limping. No I'm not. Yes you are. No, I'm not. Ummm, yes you are. And then she did an impression of me limping so okay I was limping. It sucked. I e-mailed Steve and he worked out a x-training plan (swimming) for four days and calisthenics and then said I could re-test the calf on Saturday. Assuming the calf is kosher, I can run 2 miles on Saturday, 4 miles on Monday, 6 on Wednesday etc. If it's not then back to normal then its back to the pool (x-training) and a re-test on Monday.
12/15 Swam, if this is possible, a Barraco mile. I kept losing count of my laps and going back to the smallest possible number so I know I swam at least a mile. I'm pretty sure after my calf heals up, I'm going to keep one day of swimming. I forgot how much I love swimming. I'm not very good. It took an hour to cover a mile plus I swim like MC Hammer on crack but I felt great when I got out of the pool. I felt dizzy but fresh. And chlorinated.
12/16 Swam 5 x 100m, 600m and then 5 x 100m. I probably swam more but who the fuck cares. I want to increase the middle section without shortening the warm up or warm down. I think after the rehab, when things stabilize again, I'll start pushing the middle distance until it hits a mile.
Worked out in the Park this afternoon. Did 400m of alternating farmer's carry w/ a sandbag and then did 5 sets of: 30 sit ups, 20 bridge to press, 20 good mornings and 20 push ups (I started splitting those with dips and by the 5th set just doing dips, got three PU in for Mama) followed by a 400m sandbag squat style carry out of the park. I kept all pauses at no more than 5 seconds even between sets. I swear I'm not making this up but Search and Destroy was playing on my iPod as I carried the sandbag out of the park.
12/17 Swam 5 x 100m, 600m and then 5 x 100m. Felt like an animal, tired but strong.
12/18 Swam 5 x 100m, 600m and then 5 x 100m. Just tired, real freakin' tired, got a headache breathing, can't remember my name, fell asleep on the crapper tired. I'm definitely glad I strained my calf and I will be adding ONE swim day to my week but I'm glad this is over.
I'm curious to see if I run better tomorrow.
12/19 Ran 6 miles with the Saturday group. It was harder than I thought it would be, never felt like I warmed up. Neil suggested I run the grass since mine was an over-use injury. That hurt. Not that he said it but that it was true, that I passed off the calf pain as something less than it was. I spent the rest of the day limping. I guess its not right. I can't afford the doctor even with insurance. I'm just gonna have to wait it out.
12/14 Ran one mile with Steph and then we walked a bit. We're both a bit gimpy. It was funny. I asked her, How's your ankle and she said, We should run a mile to test it out and 1/4 mile into it, she's like, You're limping. No I'm not. Yes you are. No, I'm not. Ummm, yes you are. And then she did an impression of me limping so okay I was limping. It sucked. I e-mailed Steve and he worked out a x-training plan (swimming) for four days and calisthenics and then said I could re-test the calf on Saturday. Assuming the calf is kosher, I can run 2 miles on Saturday, 4 miles on Monday, 6 on Wednesday etc. If it's not then back to normal then its back to the pool (x-training) and a re-test on Monday.
12/15 Swam, if this is possible, a Barraco mile. I kept losing count of my laps and going back to the smallest possible number so I know I swam at least a mile. I'm pretty sure after my calf heals up, I'm going to keep one day of swimming. I forgot how much I love swimming. I'm not very good. It took an hour to cover a mile plus I swim like MC Hammer on crack but I felt great when I got out of the pool. I felt dizzy but fresh. And chlorinated.
12/16 Swam 5 x 100m, 600m and then 5 x 100m. I probably swam more but who the fuck cares. I want to increase the middle section without shortening the warm up or warm down. I think after the rehab, when things stabilize again, I'll start pushing the middle distance until it hits a mile.
Worked out in the Park this afternoon. Did 400m of alternating farmer's carry w/ a sandbag and then did 5 sets of: 30 sit ups, 20 bridge to press, 20 good mornings and 20 push ups (I started splitting those with dips and by the 5th set just doing dips, got three PU in for Mama) followed by a 400m sandbag squat style carry out of the park. I kept all pauses at no more than 5 seconds even between sets. I swear I'm not making this up but Search and Destroy was playing on my iPod as I carried the sandbag out of the park.
12/17 Swam 5 x 100m, 600m and then 5 x 100m. Felt like an animal, tired but strong.
12/18 Swam 5 x 100m, 600m and then 5 x 100m. Just tired, real freakin' tired, got a headache breathing, can't remember my name, fell asleep on the crapper tired. I'm definitely glad I strained my calf and I will be adding ONE swim day to my week but I'm glad this is over.
I'm curious to see if I run better tomorrow.
12/19 Ran 6 miles with the Saturday group. It was harder than I thought it would be, never felt like I warmed up. Neil suggested I run the grass since mine was an over-use injury. That hurt. Not that he said it but that it was true, that I passed off the calf pain as something less than it was. I spent the rest of the day limping. I guess its not right. I can't afford the doctor even with insurance. I'm just gonna have to wait it out.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Running Log: Decemebr 7 - 13
Total Miles for the Week: 26.5
12/07 - 1 Miles with Steph - Her knee was a bit hinky from Torraya.
6 Miles alone in Lakeshore, two loops. Ran first loop easy and then faster on the second, sprinting the hills.
12/08 - 2 Miles at the park with 10 exercise (20-30 reps) stations on each mile.
12/09 - 6.5 Miles with Steph and Jimmy at Forest Meadows. Steph misstepped and hurt the ankle opposite her bad knee.
12/10 - 2 Miles at the park. Did sets of push-ups and sit-ups at the exercise stations: 240 sit-ups, 120 push-ups, 40 dips. Lazst sets were all to failure with 5-10 second pauses to finish except dips which were easy peasy.
12/11 - 6 miles in the park. Seemed strained, went easier than usual, still pretty hard.
12/12 - 3 miles at BMX track with Steve et al. My calf never warmed up and it was wet and cold and trecherous which led me to bail on the the last seven+ miles.
12/07 - 1 Miles with Steph - Her knee was a bit hinky from Torraya.
6 Miles alone in Lakeshore, two loops. Ran first loop easy and then faster on the second, sprinting the hills.
12/08 - 2 Miles at the park with 10 exercise (20-30 reps) stations on each mile.
12/09 - 6.5 Miles with Steph and Jimmy at Forest Meadows. Steph misstepped and hurt the ankle opposite her bad knee.
12/10 - 2 Miles at the park. Did sets of push-ups and sit-ups at the exercise stations: 240 sit-ups, 120 push-ups, 40 dips. Lazst sets were all to failure with 5-10 second pauses to finish except dips which were easy peasy.
12/11 - 6 miles in the park. Seemed strained, went easier than usual, still pretty hard.
12/12 - 3 miles at BMX track with Steve et al. My calf never warmed up and it was wet and cold and trecherous which led me to bail on the the last seven+ miles.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Motivational Quote #4
The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds. - Iron and the Soul, Henry Rollins
You can apply this to any athletic endevour. Fuck. You can apply it to anything in your life.
You can apply this to any athletic endevour. Fuck. You can apply it to anything in your life.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Running with Neil
Its been raining for two days and I'm coming off a serious ankle injury and coming on to a major calf strain. And I show up at Neil and Steph's to find out instead of running with Steph, I'll be running with Neil.
And why does that matter?
Neil and I are friends but I'd never run with Neil before when it was just the two of us. We'd always run with Steve and Steph and it worked. Neil likes to bolt. I heard him say once, he has some speed and once in a while he likes to use it. And, I imagine, my turtle slow pace can get a bit tiresome. When we ran as a group, Neil could be way down the trail and I still had a runner partner.
Its a thing about running a lot of people don't get. I don't begrudge Neil his need to run fast. I'm always a little surprised when anyone fast wants to run with me. They're fast. God made them that way. They should go fast. When Neil is way down the trail I'm not hurt, I'm envious. I admire his ability. I respect it.
I don't mind getting left behind because I run to run. Its the friction of someone fast thinking they need to hold back for you and all I can think is how much it must hurt being tethered.
When I showed up at Neil and Steph's and Steph was curled up on the couch with a blanket and Neil was getting ready, my first thought was that Neil got stuck with the chore of running with me as a favor to Steph. It didn’t bode well as far as I could reckon. I would slow him down and he might push me harder than I could go.
I hate that I keep circling back on this but I have no illusions about my speed or gains or anything like that. Neil just out classes me as a runner. He’s younger, by 209 years, he trained most of his life and he’s got the body type. He's tall and lean and fit as hell. I'm a northern European viking type, barrel chested with skinny arms and I’m nervous.
Do you get how wrong this could go?
So we start running. Neil’s real quiet for what seems like forever and then he starts talking, actually asking me questions, where my family lives, what my dad does for a living and I’m having the hardest time hearing him or breathing for that matter. He has to repeat himself and I’m thinking, now he really has to be irritated.
Then we have this exchange where I mentioned how fast he is, how we've never run alone together and he seemed snappish and then I corrected him, he misquoted me, I didn't say he was fast but faster than me and that seemed to piss him off and I kept thinking this is such horrible mistake and then we got to the water.
At first, it was splashy puddles and what seemed like anemic drainage streams then rushing streams and vast sections of water where we had to run around them into the woods and he kept having to wait for me and then it started to happened, he started smiling. He gave me some pointers on how to manage the water. Step straight down and then straight up again. Bounding. Working the edges.
I started smiling and laughing. I stopped noticing how much I was holding us back and started running. Then came the red clay hill...
It was two stories of red clay piled up from construction and Neil had us run up and over and he just one two three’d up that bastard but with the clay's tension was broken by the time I started my ascent. I seemed to almost instantly sink into the muck, struggling to find a path. Sinking, plowing, digging until I made my way up to the peak. I was covered in red clay almost to me knees and my shoes were like adobe bricks. We looked out over everything. And owned it all.
Neil took off and jump from anartificial cliffs half way down. He jumped hard and smoothly. I ran and half jumped and half slid. We headed down a granite strewn drainage bed back into the streams. I wasn’t even trying to stay out of the water now. The red clay was coming off my shoes in sheets but that wasn’t even why. It was just so damn fun not to care about pace or stride.
Neil used the word awesome. I get that but I reckon he meant awestruck. It was so easy, unbound from worry , my pulse pounding in my head as the water got deep, knee deep, hip deep, shallow and then not shallow and then Neil seemed to fall forward, splashing face first into the water.
I called out, You alright and he yelled back, Yeah. And I yelled, Is it deep? But never heard his reply when I hit that spot and dropped 5.5 feet into an eddying pool, the water swirling over my head.Neil yelled, Don't swallow the water and I grabbed a tree root to hauled myself out.
We ran out of the woods and up along Park taking both the big bad hill and its little brother. We ran those hills hard and as exhausted as I was from everything, I just ran harder. I wanted to give up everything I had left inside me. I had been to the wilderness just a little. Cars actually got swept away in this very rain we had been running in this very night.
We turned left into Neil’s neighborhood and headed home.
And why does that matter?
Neil and I are friends but I'd never run with Neil before when it was just the two of us. We'd always run with Steve and Steph and it worked. Neil likes to bolt. I heard him say once, he has some speed and once in a while he likes to use it. And, I imagine, my turtle slow pace can get a bit tiresome. When we ran as a group, Neil could be way down the trail and I still had a runner partner.
Its a thing about running a lot of people don't get. I don't begrudge Neil his need to run fast. I'm always a little surprised when anyone fast wants to run with me. They're fast. God made them that way. They should go fast. When Neil is way down the trail I'm not hurt, I'm envious. I admire his ability. I respect it.
I don't mind getting left behind because I run to run. Its the friction of someone fast thinking they need to hold back for you and all I can think is how much it must hurt being tethered.
When I showed up at Neil and Steph's and Steph was curled up on the couch with a blanket and Neil was getting ready, my first thought was that Neil got stuck with the chore of running with me as a favor to Steph. It didn’t bode well as far as I could reckon. I would slow him down and he might push me harder than I could go.
I hate that I keep circling back on this but I have no illusions about my speed or gains or anything like that. Neil just out classes me as a runner. He’s younger, by 209 years, he trained most of his life and he’s got the body type. He's tall and lean and fit as hell. I'm a northern European viking type, barrel chested with skinny arms and I’m nervous.
Do you get how wrong this could go?
So we start running. Neil’s real quiet for what seems like forever and then he starts talking, actually asking me questions, where my family lives, what my dad does for a living and I’m having the hardest time hearing him or breathing for that matter. He has to repeat himself and I’m thinking, now he really has to be irritated.
Then we have this exchange where I mentioned how fast he is, how we've never run alone together and he seemed snappish and then I corrected him, he misquoted me, I didn't say he was fast but faster than me and that seemed to piss him off and I kept thinking this is such horrible mistake and then we got to the water.
At first, it was splashy puddles and what seemed like anemic drainage streams then rushing streams and vast sections of water where we had to run around them into the woods and he kept having to wait for me and then it started to happened, he started smiling. He gave me some pointers on how to manage the water. Step straight down and then straight up again. Bounding. Working the edges.
I started smiling and laughing. I stopped noticing how much I was holding us back and started running. Then came the red clay hill...
It was two stories of red clay piled up from construction and Neil had us run up and over and he just one two three’d up that bastard but with the clay's tension was broken by the time I started my ascent. I seemed to almost instantly sink into the muck, struggling to find a path. Sinking, plowing, digging until I made my way up to the peak. I was covered in red clay almost to me knees and my shoes were like adobe bricks. We looked out over everything. And owned it all.
Neil took off and jump from anartificial cliffs half way down. He jumped hard and smoothly. I ran and half jumped and half slid. We headed down a granite strewn drainage bed back into the streams. I wasn’t even trying to stay out of the water now. The red clay was coming off my shoes in sheets but that wasn’t even why. It was just so damn fun not to care about pace or stride.
Neil used the word awesome. I get that but I reckon he meant awestruck. It was so easy, unbound from worry , my pulse pounding in my head as the water got deep, knee deep, hip deep, shallow and then not shallow and then Neil seemed to fall forward, splashing face first into the water.
I called out, You alright and he yelled back, Yeah. And I yelled, Is it deep? But never heard his reply when I hit that spot and dropped 5.5 feet into an eddying pool, the water swirling over my head.Neil yelled, Don't swallow the water and I grabbed a tree root to hauled myself out.
We ran out of the woods and up along Park taking both the big bad hill and its little brother. We ran those hills hard and as exhausted as I was from everything, I just ran harder. I wanted to give up everything I had left inside me. I had been to the wilderness just a little. Cars actually got swept away in this very rain we had been running in this very night.
We turned left into Neil’s neighborhood and headed home.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Running Log: November 30 - December 6
Total Miles for the Week: 24.5
11/30 5.5 miles with Steve and Steph - Ran up park and cut over into Tom Brown for the trails and hills. I kept thinking I was gonna give out and then kept pushing.
12/1 2 Miles at Layfayette with 10 exercise (20 reps) stations on each mile.
12/2 7 miles with Neil on the BMX trails plus the Fern and the Park Avenue monster hills.
11/30 5.5 miles with Steve and Steph - Ran up park and cut over into Tom Brown for the trails and hills. I kept thinking I was gonna give out and then kept pushing.
12/1 2 Miles at Layfayette with 10 exercise (20 reps) stations on each mile.
12/2 7 miles with Neil on the BMX trails plus the Fern and the Park Avenue monster hills.
12/5 10 miles out at Bradley's with Steve et al. It was a good run. I did a mile in 7:51. Met some new runners and found out how fast Doug is and that being passed by Steve is like being passed by a truck out on 27 toward Havana, a rush of wind and the hint of danger.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Motivational Quote #1
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. - The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Frank Hebert
I think there is a difference between pain and discomfort. I think that in feeling discomfort we imagine it as pain and that stops us. We get that roiling sick feeling in our guts and instead of driving through the discomfort, we back off because we fear getting sick. Fear of the bear on our backs, at the last few miles, makes us slow down, fear of how it would look to others if we went slow makes us push at the wrong time. Fear the right thing or the wrong thing, its all just fear.
I think there is a difference between pain and discomfort. I think that in feeling discomfort we imagine it as pain and that stops us. We get that roiling sick feeling in our guts and instead of driving through the discomfort, we back off because we fear getting sick. Fear of the bear on our backs, at the last few miles, makes us slow down, fear of how it would look to others if we went slow makes us push at the wrong time. Fear the right thing or the wrong thing, its all just fear.
I need to think through things, make decisions based on what I know and what I don't know. If the opposite of love is fear than I must love the hill, embrace the bear. When discomfort comes, I must welcome it as a sign that I pushing passed my limits and then move on.
Running Log: November 23 - 29
Total Miles for the Week: 28
11/23 - 6 Miles with Steph - Ran 3 miles holding back and the managed a negative split for the second 3.
11/24 - 2 miles at the park with 10 exercise (20 reps) stations on each mile.
11/25 - 8 Miles with Steph and Steve at Red Bug. I wanted to vomit twice. That's a good sign, I think.
11/26 - 2 Miles warm up with Steve, Steph and Neil before the Turkey Trot.
11/27 - 5 miles at Forest Meadows back loop, long slow hills. I had a weak middle. I need to work on pacing. Obviously, I went too hard somewhere.
11/28 - 1.5 Miles run and 3.5 miles walked at Forest Meadows back loop with Vince. Walked hard which seemed to stretch out my calf muscle.
11/29 - 15 plus miles with Clay on the bikes. We biked the Fern Trail and then the Cadillac plus a bunch more I barely remember being that I was exhausted and terrified then back on the Fern Trail. Need to wear running leggings as contact with poison ivy seems unavoidable on the Cadillac. Also seemed to help my calf.
11/23 - 6 Miles with Steph - Ran 3 miles holding back and the managed a negative split for the second 3.
11/24 - 2 miles at the park with 10 exercise (20 reps) stations on each mile.
11/25 - 8 Miles with Steph and Steve at Red Bug. I wanted to vomit twice. That's a good sign, I think.
11/26 - 2 Miles warm up with Steve, Steph and Neil before the Turkey Trot.
11/27 - 5 miles at Forest Meadows back loop, long slow hills. I had a weak middle. I need to work on pacing. Obviously, I went too hard somewhere.
11/28 - 1.5 Miles run and 3.5 miles walked at Forest Meadows back loop with Vince. Walked hard which seemed to stretch out my calf muscle.
11/29 - 15 plus miles with Clay on the bikes. We biked the Fern Trail and then the Cadillac plus a bunch more I barely remember being that I was exhausted and terrified then back on the Fern Trail. Need to wear running leggings as contact with poison ivy seems unavoidable on the Cadillac. Also seemed to help my calf.
Running Tip #1
When you are about to enter a Porta-john, don't cram your cell phone and brand new Punisher skull cap into the shallow side pocket of your Adidas track jacket...
I walked in and locked the door behind me and looking at my options, remembered that some runners are women and turning to the left to use the urinal, heard a faint... ploop. And knew, instantly, what had just shot out of my pocket and into the commode.
I loved that phone but I really loved that hat. It was bad ass. It made me look a little like that biker Opie on Sons of Anarchy. I love Sons of Anarchy.
I knew it was gone.
I looked down the hole black watery hole and my sad little phone cast in blue commode water, lit up under as if to cry out, help me. And everyone has asked me if I reached in to get it out and to that I've said no. Who would do that and why.
Sadly, I would. Just for a few panicked moments, I clung to the idea things would be alright. I could dry it. Use Julia's rice bag idea to get every last bit of moisture out of it, maybe even use that sanitary spray Pola has in the kitchen for spray the germs off our counter tops. All my pictures, notes for stories, phone numbers...
Now to my credit once I realized the phone's state, I let it slip back into the stinky depths - its hand out stretch, its fingertips straining toward life as oblivion wrapped it into the great goodnight...
Okay, that's horseshit but you get the point. It was a big sad moment for me. And worse, the day hadn't even started so there was a race to watch and friends to cheer on and the inevitable photos to be taken where everyone would be all open and smiling and, as usual, I would look like a real tool, arms cross and scowling.
I walked in and locked the door behind me and looking at my options, remembered that some runners are women and turning to the left to use the urinal, heard a faint... ploop. And knew, instantly, what had just shot out of my pocket and into the commode.
I loved that phone but I really loved that hat. It was bad ass. It made me look a little like that biker Opie on Sons of Anarchy. I love Sons of Anarchy.
I knew it was gone.
I looked down the hole black watery hole and my sad little phone cast in blue commode water, lit up under as if to cry out, help me. And everyone has asked me if I reached in to get it out and to that I've said no. Who would do that and why.
Sadly, I would. Just for a few panicked moments, I clung to the idea things would be alright. I could dry it. Use Julia's rice bag idea to get every last bit of moisture out of it, maybe even use that sanitary spray Pola has in the kitchen for spray the germs off our counter tops. All my pictures, notes for stories, phone numbers...
Now to my credit once I realized the phone's state, I let it slip back into the stinky depths - its hand out stretch, its fingertips straining toward life as oblivion wrapped it into the great goodnight...
Okay, that's horseshit but you get the point. It was a big sad moment for me. And worse, the day hadn't even started so there was a race to watch and friends to cheer on and the inevitable photos to be taken where everyone would be all open and smiling and, as usual, I would look like a real tool, arms cross and scowling.
Running with Vince
Vince is nine years older than me and mentally handicapped. I’m not sure if that’s the right term for it and I don’t care. He’s a bit undercooked. He’s slow. He’s Vince. When we talk, Vince’s mumble-y Cajun drawl is hard to follow and I have to ask him to repeat himself which visibly irritates him.
I’ve taken to just saying uh-huh and hoping to put it all together later. It isn’t any less disrespectful than I’d be to anyone else. He seems to get most things I say and remembers well enough. He has a head for numbers and a profound sense of direction.
Vince tends to get a bit stuck on details and it seems can be found repeating them. I’ve always imagined it was a way to make them real having just been reminded that they exist.
Vince has been running for twenty years. He even ran the Philadelphia marathon once. His daddy said that they had to have people running next to him with water as otherwise he would have stopped running and never started again.
About ten years ago he stopped running due to shin splints and only in the last six years started doing 1 mile fun runs and cycling to get back into shape. A few months ago he ran a church 5k and will run another a few days after Valentine’s Day.
When we ran the Saturday after thanksgiving, he ran in jeans and a button down shirt with a fancy western cut belt. He wore a jacket and baseball cap. I can’t remember what was on the cap. I think an American flag.
I took him to Forest Meadows. We walked in about 1/2 mile to warm up and then started running. I kept checking with him. We’d walk when he needed to walk. I kept checking with him. We ran about 1.5 miles when Vince yelled stop and we did. He was panting, hands on knees like the whole time he was sprinting but to look at him running, he seemed composed, focus and steady.
We walked the rest of the way back in to the trail head and talked a bit about running.
He reminded me about his fun runs and his upcoming 5k. I said I knew some milers and they were pretty fast. He said he could do a ten minute mile. I mentioned I had a 1/2 marathon coming up. He said he had cousin who did 1/2 marathons. It went like that.
No great insight, just two runners making small talk. I stopped to pee on the way out and he told me he didn’t need to pee. He ran on to the truck.
We had breakfast at the Waffle House with Vince’s daddy Burke. I sat next to Vince so that mostly Burke and I talked. Burke said he liked things simple like the Waffle House. Waiters and cooks were all the same people.
Burke paid and then we went our separate ways.
I’ve taken to just saying uh-huh and hoping to put it all together later. It isn’t any less disrespectful than I’d be to anyone else. He seems to get most things I say and remembers well enough. He has a head for numbers and a profound sense of direction.
Vince tends to get a bit stuck on details and it seems can be found repeating them. I’ve always imagined it was a way to make them real having just been reminded that they exist.
Vince has been running for twenty years. He even ran the Philadelphia marathon once. His daddy said that they had to have people running next to him with water as otherwise he would have stopped running and never started again.
About ten years ago he stopped running due to shin splints and only in the last six years started doing 1 mile fun runs and cycling to get back into shape. A few months ago he ran a church 5k and will run another a few days after Valentine’s Day.
When we ran the Saturday after thanksgiving, he ran in jeans and a button down shirt with a fancy western cut belt. He wore a jacket and baseball cap. I can’t remember what was on the cap. I think an American flag.
I took him to Forest Meadows. We walked in about 1/2 mile to warm up and then started running. I kept checking with him. We’d walk when he needed to walk. I kept checking with him. We ran about 1.5 miles when Vince yelled stop and we did. He was panting, hands on knees like the whole time he was sprinting but to look at him running, he seemed composed, focus and steady.
We walked the rest of the way back in to the trail head and talked a bit about running.
He reminded me about his fun runs and his upcoming 5k. I said I knew some milers and they were pretty fast. He said he could do a ten minute mile. I mentioned I had a 1/2 marathon coming up. He said he had cousin who did 1/2 marathons. It went like that.
No great insight, just two runners making small talk. I stopped to pee on the way out and he told me he didn’t need to pee. He ran on to the truck.
We had breakfast at the Waffle House with Vince’s daddy Burke. I sat next to Vince so that mostly Burke and I talked. Burke said he liked things simple like the Waffle House. Waiters and cooks were all the same people.
Burke paid and then we went our separate ways.
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